Types of Core Wounds
and Core Beliefs

Core wounds are the emotional injuries we carry from early experiences—often tied to feelings of abandonment, rejection, or shame. Over time, these wounds can shape core beliefs about ourselves, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t matter.” While the language or intensity of these beliefs may vary, many tend to echo similar themes.

These core beliefs can influence how we approach relationships, self-worth, success, and emotional safety. Even if we “know better” on a logical level, these emotional imprints often continue to shape our reactions and choices—until we take time to explore and heal them. Sometimes we call this “inner child work”.

Here are some examples of core wounds that can quietly give rise to limiting beliefs about who we are and what we deserve:

Core Wounds & Beliefs:

Abandonment Core Wounds

These stem from the fear or experience of being left—physically or emotionally—by someone important, especially during formative years.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• People I love always leave
• I am not worth staying for
• I will be alone forever
• If I get close, I’ll be abandoned
• I must cling to others or they’ll disappear
• I have to be perfect to keep people in my life
• If I need someone, they’ll let me down
• Love is unreliable
• I can’t trust that anyone will be there for me
• I’m too much, and that’s why people leave

Roots: May include a parent walking out, emotional unavailability, divorce, loss (through death or separation), or inconsistency in caregiving (e.g., being left to “cry it out” repeatedly).

Rejection Core Wounds

These relate to not being accepted, loved, or validated for who you are—feeling unwanted or not good enough.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I’m not lovable
• I’m too flawed to be accepted
• Who I am isn’t enough
• If people really knew me, they’d reject me
• I have to change myself to be accepted
• Love is conditional
• My true self is not welcome
• I will always be left out
• I must hide my needs to be accepted
• I don’t belong anywhere

Roots: May stem from being bullied, shamed, criticized, or emotionally invalidated. Can also arise when caregivers are emotionally rejecting, critical, or push conditional love (e.g., “I only love you when you behave”).

Shame Core Wounds

Shame wounds arise from the internalized belief that there is something inherently wrong, bad, or unlovable about oneself.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I am broken
• I am bad at my core
• If people knew the real me, they’d be disgusted
• I’m disgusting / unclean
• I should feel ashamed of who I am
• I don’t deserve good things
• I must hide parts of myself to be accepted
• My feelings are wrong or too much
• I’m a burden to others
• I am fundamentally flawed

Roots: Often stem from childhood criticism, humiliation, religious or cultural moralism, sexual trauma, being blamed for others’ emotions, or emotional enmeshment with a parent.

Self-Worth Core Wounds

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I’m not enough
• I don’t matter
• Other people are better than me
• I have to earn love
• I only have value if I’m useful
• I need to prove myself to be worthy
• I’m replaceable
• I’m not allowed to take up space
• My worth depends on others’ opinions
• I’m only lovable when I perform or succeed

Roots: Often develop in achievement-focused families, emotionally unavailable environments, or where love was conditional on appearance, grades, obedience, or caregiving roles.

Invisibility Core Wounds

These arise from the experience of being emotionally overlooked, dismissed, or unseen—feeling like your presence, thoughts, or feelings don’t register.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I don’t matter
• I’m not important
• No one sees the real me
• My feelings don’t count
• I have to disappear to be safe
• If I speak up, I’ll be ignored or dismissed
• I have to achieve or perform to be noticed
• Being myself is not enough to be valued
• Love and attention must be earned
• My presence is a burden

Roots: May stem from emotionally unavailable or distracted caregivers, being overshadowed by a sibling or family dynamic, or being raised in environments that discouraged emotional expression.

Neglect Core Wounds

These develop from the lack of consistent care, presence, or emotional/physical responsiveness—feeling like your basic needs don’t matter.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• My needs are too much
• I have to take care of myself
• No one will come for me
• I’m not worth caring for
• I don’t deserve love or attention
• I should be grateful for any scrap of care
• Asking for help is wrong or shameful
• People always let me down
• I am too needy
• I’m invisible unless I’m in crisis

Roots: Can result from childhood emotional neglect, parental mental illness or addiction, chaotic or unsafe environments, or being parentified at a young age.

Trust Core Wounds

These arise from the experience of betrayal, deception, or unreliability by people who were supposed to protect or support you. The core fear is “People will hurt me if I let them in.”

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I can’t trust anyone
• People always let me down
• If I open up, I’ll get hurt
• Others are not who they seem
• I have to stay in control to be safe
• Vulnerability leads to pain
• Everyone has an agenda
• Love equals betrayal
• I need to test people to see if they’re real
• Trust makes me weak

Roots: Often develop from betrayal by caregivers, broken promises, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, abandonment, or having secrets kept from you as a child (e.g., family lies, infidelity).

Safety Core Wounds

These stem from living in environments—emotional, physical, or relational—that felt unpredictable, unstable, or threatening. The core fear is “I’m not safe in the world or in my body.”

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• The world is dangerous
• I can’t let my guard down
• No one can keep me safe but me
• If I relax, something bad will happen
• My emotions are not safe to feel
• I have to protect myself at all times
• I’m unsafe in relationships
• I must anticipate danger to survive
• My body isn’t a safe place to be

Roots: Can result from physical or emotional abuse, neglect, sudden trauma (e.g., car accident, violence), or growing up in households with high conflict, substance use, or mental illness.

Key Differences and Overlap
Trust & Safety

Aspect	Trust	Safety
Focus	Fear of being harmed by others’ betrayal	Fear of being harmed by external/internal threats
Trigger	Dependency, intimacy, letting others in	Vulnerability, chaos, losing control
Root Emotion	Suspicion, fear of betrayal	Fear, hypervigilance, dread
Survival Strategy	Emotional walls, controlling behavior	Hypervigilance, withdrawal, dissociation
Common Overlap	“If I can’t trust others, I’m never truly safe.”	“If I’m not safe, how can I trust anyone to help me?”

Responsibility Core Wounds

These arise from the belief that you are responsible for other people’s emotions, actions, or outcomes, often formed when you were expected to parent others, keep the peace, or suppress your own needs to care for others.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• It’s my job to fix things
• I have to take care of everyone
• If something goes wrong, it’s my fault
• I am responsible for other people’s feelings
• I can’t rest until everyone else is okay
• If I don’t do it, no one will
• My worth is tied to how much I give
• Saying no makes me selfish
• I must hold it all together
• I can’t have needs—it’s my job to meet others’

Roots: Often develop from parentification, emotionally immature or dependent caregivers, chronic family illness or dysfunction, or being praised only when self-sacrificing or helpful.

Control Core Wounds

These come from the fear of losing control over your environment, others, or yourself—usually a response to chaos, betrayal, or powerlessness in early life. The core fear is “If I’m not in control, I’ll get hurt.”

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I must stay in control to stay safe
• Letting go is dangerous
• I can’t rely on others
• If I relax, everything will fall apart
• I have to control how others see me
• I can’t trust life to unfold on its own
• I need to control emotions or they’ll consume me
• Asking for help means losing control
• I feel safest when I’m in charge
• People will hurt or abandon me if I don’t manage everything

Roots: Often arise from unpredictable or chaotic households, trauma, betrayal, bullying, sudden loss, or caretaking roles in childhood where control became a coping mechanism for survival.

Key Differences and Overlap
Responsibility & Control

Aspect	Responsibility	Control
Focus	Feeling accountable for others	Need to manage self, others, or outcomes
Trigger	Others’ distress, chaos, unmet needs	Uncertainty, disorder, lack of agency
Root Emotion	Guilt, self-blame	Fear, anxiety, urgency
Survival Strategy	Over-functioning, people-pleasing, self-sacrifice	Micromanaging, perfectionism, emotional suppression
Common Overlap	“If I don’t take responsibility, I’ll lose control.”	“If I don’t control everything, I’ll be blamed.”

Guilt Core Wounds

These arise from the internalized belief that you’ve done something wrong or caused harm—even when you haven’t, often due to distorted responsibility placed on you as a child.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I am responsible for other people’s pain
• It’s my fault if others are upset
• I shouldn’t put my needs first
• I always feel like I’ve done something wrong
• I must make up for who I am
• I owe everyone something
• I’m selfish for taking care of myself
• I need to apologize even when I didn’t cause harm
• I can’t say no without feeling guilty
• I don’t deserve joy when others are struggling

Roots: Often stem from growing up with emotionally immature or manipulative caregivers, being scapegoated, surviving trauma when others didn’t, or being shamed for asserting needs.

Burden Core Wounds

These come from the belief that your presence, needs, or existence is too much for others to handle. The core feeling is “I take up too much space.”

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I’m a burden to others
• My needs inconvenience people
• If I ask for help, I’ll push people away
• Others are better off without me
• I should handle things alone
• I feel guilty for existing
• I ruin things for people
• I’m too intense, too needy, too emotional
• I always have to tone myself down
• People only tolerate me—they don’t really want me

Roots: Can develop from being raised by overwhelmed or unavailable caregivers, being shamed for emotional needs, experiencing chronic invalidation, or being treated as “too much” for others to handle.

Perfectionism Core Wounds

These are rooted in the belief that you must be flawless to be accepted, safe, or worthy of love. Mistakes are equated with rejection or failure of character.

Can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I must be perfect to be loved
• If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected
• I am only valuable when I succeed
• I can’t relax or I’ll fall behind
• I always need to be improving
• My best is never enough
• I am what I achieve
• Rest is laziness
• If I let go of control, everything will fall apart
• I’m only safe when everything is done exactly right

Roots: Common in achievement-focused or critical environments, where praise was performance-based. Also seen in children who used perfectionism to gain approval, avoid punishment, or cope with chaos.

Key Differences and Overlap
Guilty, Burden & Perfectionist

Aspect	Guilt	Burden	Perfectionist
Focus	Belief that you’ve done wrong	Belief that you are too much	Belief that you must do everything right
Trigger	Others’ distress, saying no, having needs	Asking for help, emotional expression	Making mistakes, imperfection, not achieving enough
Root Emotion	Guilt, shame	Shame, fear of rejection	Anxiety, self-criticism
Survival Strategy	Over-apologizing, people-pleasing, self-erasure	Withdrawal, self-reliance, masking needs	Overachieving, control, avoidance of vulnerability
Common Overlap	“If I’m not perfect, I’m a burden.”	“If I ask for anything, I’m doing harm.”	“I must do it all right to avoid guilt or rejection.”